The God over a broken body.

Overwhelmed.

Stressed.

Scared.

Those could be a few words to describe the last 6 months. I have been physically not doing well since Finley was born. Actually before that I wasn't doing that great either, but the heat was put on after Finley's birth.

Spiritually I felt as if I was doing okay; yet, I knew I needed to press closer into Jesus. Wasn't sure how. Just kept praying, "Lord, I want to be everything you are. Totally broken and reliant on you. I want your fruit of the Spirit more than anything this world has to offer." "I want love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperence to be a evidenced daily because of you dwelling me." "I want your glory to shine through me."

Answer to this prayer-- total broken-ness. Sitting before God being totally honest: I'm scared. I need you. I want to abide in your glory even in spite of everything that is happening.

I'm broken and totally reliant on Jesus right now.

I got my doctor's report yesterday (right after Adam's grandma's funeral :-).

It was written like this:
Often a diagnosis of problems list is helpful. Such a list for Breann could include:
-Antigenic overload
-Fibromyalgia
-Cortical Adrenal Insufficency
-Poor Digestion
-GI dysbiosis
-Hypothyroidism
-Autoimmune Thyroiditis
-Endocrine Imbalance
-Peripheral Neuropathy
-Depression
-Multiple Sclerosis

Never in my life have I ever taken so many "deep cleansing breaths".

Lord, I'm broken right now. Totally reliant on you. In need of nothing else but your amazing grace. In need of complete direction from your Holy Spirit. I need you Jesus. Nothing else. No one else. Just you.

In essence, this is what I prayed for. Total reliance on you and nothing else. So Lord in all of this shine like you have never shined before.

"Come onto me all ye who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am meek and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."